{"id":27218,"date":"2026-04-28T15:38:30","date_gmt":"2026-04-28T15:38:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/didebta.com\/?p=27218"},"modified":"2026-04-28T15:38:31","modified_gmt":"2026-04-28T15:38:31","slug":"what-is-emotional-intelligence-and-how-do-i-improve-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/didebta.com\/?p=27218","title":{"rendered":"What Is Emotional Intelligence and How Do I Improve it?"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Ugh. Feelings.\n <\/p>\n

Everyone\u2014and I mean everyone\u2014has feelings. And we all have different ways of dealing with them. Maybe you, like Drake, enjoy<\/em> being \u201cin your feelings.\u201d Or maybe you do everything in your power to avoid them. You just keep scrolling or eating or drinking or exercising or working or yelling or buying\u2014anything to cover up your anger or jealousy or loneliness or shame.\n <\/p>\n

Despite our tendency to deny them, emotions and feelings are very real. They are real chemical reactions, thoughts and hormonal responses. The tricky thing is that often, our feelings lie to us.\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0\n <\/p>\n

So, what do you do with all of these feelings and emotions? Soaking in them isn\u2019t a good option. But neither is avoiding them and numbing out. This is where emotional intelligence comes into play. \u00a0\n <\/p>\n

What Is Emotional Intelligence?\u00a0<\/h2>\n

Emotional intelligence (called EI or EQ for short) is the ability to perceive, process, regulate and react to emotions. If you have high EI, you\u2019re comfortable experiencing emotions, and you likely have deep and authentic relationships in your life.\n <\/p>\n

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The concept of EI might seem abstract and hard to grasp. But a few decades back, author Daniel Goleman published a book called Emotional Intelligence<\/em> that takes high-level research and makes these important concepts easier to translate to real life.\u00a0\u00a0\n <\/p>\n

EI is most often thought of as a workplace tool, although in recent years it has grown a bit controversial. This article, though, is not about the workplace. It\u2019s about you and how you can utilize emotional intelligence to improve your relationships.\u00a0\n <\/p>\n

Some of us have high EI in certain areas and low EI in others. Maybe you\u2019re good at reading a room, and you can detect when you\u2019re boring the room with your endless soapbox of specialty diets. But on the other hand, you totally miss the cues when someone is flirting with you.\n <\/p>\n

While some aspects of EI are intuitive for most people, others struggle with it. The good news is that it\u2019s a social skill you can practice. Your brain is capable of amazing things. So, if this whole \u201cfeelings\u201d thing doesn\u2019t come naturally, know that if you want to, you can get better at it.\n <\/p>\n

Emotions vs. Feelings: What\u2019s the Difference?\u00a0<\/h2>\n

I\u2019m often asked about the difference between feelings and emotions. In a nutshell, emotions are your body\u2019s responses<\/em> to stimuli, and feelings are your brain\u2019s interpretation <\/em>of your emotions.\n <\/p>\n

Think of emotions as the unconscious, physiological reactions in your body\u2014the shock you have when your boyfriend breaks up with you, or the excitement you feel when you cross a finish line in first place. Emotions set your body into motion.\n <\/p>\n

Feelings, then, are the way we explain and articulate emotions to ourselves and others. You could interpret your energizing emotions after winning your race as joy. You could interpret your shock from the breakup as anger.\n <\/p>\n

The difference between feelings and emotions is important as we grow in self-awareness, but since most people use them interchangeably (and for the sake of simplicity), I will use the words interchangeably for the rest of the article.\n <\/p>\n

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence\u00a0<\/h2>\n

As I said above, whether you want to believe it or not, emotions are part of our human experience. We all have them, and we all need them. And while the signals they provide us are important, they often do not convey actual truth. Emotional intelligence is essential<\/em> to forming deep, meaningful relationships. A lack of emotional intelligence keeps you stunted and out of touch with yourself and others.\n <\/p>\n

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“Emotional intelligence is essential<\/em> to forming deep, meaningful relationships. A lack of emotional intelligence keeps you stunted and out of touch with yourself and others.”\n <\/p>\n

-Dr. John Delony\n <\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

We all know people who look successful on the outside, but behind closed doors, their personal life is in shambles. You can hustle and grind and have a high net worth, but if you steamroll people in the process, you\u2019ll be terribly lonely. When it comes to relationships, you can even get what you want\u2014like getting married and having kids\u2014but if you\u2019re emotionally bankrupt, you\u2019ll destroy the very thing you\u2019ve been wanting to create.\n <\/p>\n

Now, let me be clear about something: Emotions are great for communicating information, but they\u2019re terrible operating instructions. In other words, emotions help us process life and inform our decision making, but we shouldn\u2019t allow them to get in the driver\u2019s seat and call the shots. \u00a0\n <\/p>\n

People who are low in emotional intelligence are self-centered, condescending, unpredictable and often overly passive or overly assertive. On the other hand, people who are high in emotional intelligence . . .\n <\/p>\n